Friday, July 22, 2005

The Truth About Detroit's Employee Discount Plans

The recent revelations by the domestic automakers that we all get to pay what their employees pay for a new vehicle appears to be a good deal on the surface. And in fairness, it is a good deal for anyone who normally walks into the dealership uninformed and gets ripped-off. Just by default, they will pay less.

However, for the savvy car buyer, this deal is a wolf in sheep clothing. Let me explain.

These employee discounts average 3 to 4% of the MSRP. Sounds good, right? Maybe not. When I purchase a new vehicle, I never pay more than the invoice price. In certain higher demand models, you may have to pay a few hundred over invoice. Why will they allow me to pay invoice price? Because they receive from the manufacturer what is called a "dealer holdback", usually 3 to 5% of the price they paid for the car, or "invoice price". This results in profit for them even though they sold the car to me for what they paid. The last vehicle I purchased was at invoice price which was 10% below MSRP. Think about what I just said.

Employee Discount.........3% off MSRP
Invoice Price..................10% off MSRP

At an MSRP of $28,000, it doesn't take an accountant to see that I paid about $2,000 less by negotiating the deal as opposed to receiving the "employee discount". What is even more disturbing, two dealerships that I recently visited informed me that the employee cost is what everyone pays and you can't negotiate below that price. What? This may be the most clever thing to come out of Detroit since Robin Williams.

The bottom line is this: Domestic automakers have simply laid a small discount on the table for all to see. However, this discount is not near as good as an informed car buyer could get. In fact, it's not even close.

Judging by the jump in domestic auto sales, America is buying into the little plan. People are coming out in droves to pet the pretty sheep. The problem is, Detroit is waiting inside to take a bite out of their ass.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Jennie Finch Is Hot

I know this is out of left field (pun intended) but I think Jennie Finch is hot. She is a great athlete and she is gorgeous. That's a deadly combination for me.

I have a major crush on Jennie Finch. There, I said it.

Jennie, if you're listening, when you decide to send Casey back to the minors, I'm here for you.

So my question of the day: Who do you think is the hottest famous person alive? Pick someone that you think is the entire package. I'm interested.

Star Trek's Scotty Beamed Up

Although I have never been a big fan of Star Trek, I will offer a moment of silence for the passing of beloved James "Scotty" Doohan.


One bit of trivia you may not be aware of, the words "Beam me up, Scotty" were never uttered on the Star Trek series.

Rest in space, Scotty.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Jude Law Nails Nanny

Hey Jude, don't be afraid,
You were made to go out and get her....

Ok, McCartney was probably not referring to Jude Law's nanny but dude... My impressions of this hi-infidelity:

  1. You cheated on the gorgeous Sienna Miller (pictured with Law)
  2. You did so while your child was home
  3. You did not lock the bedroom door

Translation - You're a dumbass.

While I'm on the subject, let me throw this question out there:

While I'm not condoning infidelity on any level, why is it that when a man cheats, he is a worthless, scumbag, piece of shit that should be hung by his dingus, however...when a woman cheats, she is obviously not getting what she needs at home because her significant other is lacking the ability to make her happy, therefore, he is a worthless, scumbag, piece of shit that should be hung by his dingus?

I'm telling you guys, woman are slowly but surely taking over the world. You heard it here first.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Scientology? Say It Ain't So Tom!

You were so calculating in "Mission Impossible". You were so intuitive in "The Firm". You were so shrewd in "The Color Of Money". But Scientology? Hello? You're not Little Bo Peek, you're Tom "Freakin" Cruise. I mean, come on, where would "Vanilla Sky" have been if you were relating the story to L. Ron Hubbub instead of the jailyard psychiatrist? Think McFly!

Of course, I have never been a big fan of the local cult scene but this one just rubs me the wrong way. Much like any red-blooded American with a measure of common sense, when I learned that the founder of Scientology was a science fiction writer, I turned off the listen-o'-meter. Then again, only a science fiction writer could make this shit up.

Ok Tom, let's you and Kate and I sit down at Starbucks and talk this thing through. This guy has made a fortune off this little scam. He doesn't need this publicity any more than you do. So, back away from the "tone scale" and no one will get hurt.

The bottom line is this Mister Immortal: I don't want to hear any whining when your fearless leader demands that all of his sheep cut off their hair, dress in pink wedding dresses and wait in Omaha for the mothership to return them safely to 1950.

I'll conclude with a quote from L. Ron Hubbard, Jr., the son of the Scientology founder himself:

"99% of what my father ever wrote or said about himself is totally untrue" and he is "only interested in money, sex, booze, and drugs".

C-mon Tom, say it ain't so!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

BBC Edits the Word "Terrorist"

And the coward of the week award goes to.....

Apparently, several articles written on the BBC's website covering the recent attacks in London spoke of terrorists and were later edited to replace the word "terrorist" with "bomber".

So here's part of the BBC's quote on the issue:
"the word 'terrorist' itself can be a barrier rather than an aid to understanding" and its use should be "avoided".

Ok, let me understand this: After the worst peacetime attack in Britain's history, the BBC finds it more important to practice political correctness than to just tell the world exactly what happened.

I have decided to apply for a writing gig with BBC Online. With my resume, I plan to include my own story of the TERRORIST attacks. My headline will read:

"Lowlife Fucking Terrorists Strike London"

There's your aid to understanding. Sorry bastards.